Thought of the day

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Kanye West, Kim Kardashian and North West attend Givenchy show6

Kanye West, Kim Kardashian and North West attend Givenchy show 2

As much as Kanye West rants about his detest for paparazzi and celebrity, he sure is obsessed with it. We all know Kim Kardashian is the biggest fame-whore and everything she does is to generate publicity. What I also don’t understand is how most of her instagram pictures are paparazzi snaps. She is always dressed for a fashion event with glam hair and makeup, ready to be photographed, everywhere she goes, cameras follow. Sometimes I want to shake her and tell her to dress for comfort, and the reason why she got so much flack for her pregnancy is because of how she dressed. She is also constantly seen in public and rarely with her daughter, traveling abroad without her and seen from place to place without her child. Why not just stay home often or take your child with you or just not call photographs to snap pictures of you constantly?! They are obsessed with the idea of celebrity than they are of reality.

PS – When do  you think she is going to st art covering her body up, and stop posing naked for pictures, and posting racy pictures of herself and her assets on social media, and finally understand she is a mother of a daughter?

This week they are invading Paris fashion week. I am all for attending fashion shows, for the love of fashion, but in their case its for the photos and publicity. They took their daughter North West to two fashion shows this week, the first one, she looked like a mini Kanye with leather leggings, leather skirt and a Yeezus shirt, I thought it was cute, but she is a little girl, dress her for her age. Whenever Kim is seen publicly with her daughter, she holds her like an accessory strategically carries her for a pose and not protection.  There is also a video of her purposely placing her daughter down to walk in front of a hundred flashing cameras, just so they can got a shot of her outfit and of her walking, and only decided to hold her when they entered the building and left the vision of the paps. Then they came in to the Givenchy show with matching lace outfits. Kim is wearing a body suit/ jumpsuit, it ain’t cute and her child is dressed like a grown girl with a see through lace dress. I don’t understand how you feel it’s appropriate for a year old little girl to wear see through lace…I’ll leave it at that.

I am not going to post anymore pictures of North, if I knew how to put I would blurt out her face but i don’t, and regardles she is all over google and blogs, she is a little girl, those pictures are far away and can’t see her face up close, but if you are to check out her pictures, you won’t find a single one of her looking happy and smiling, instead looking somber and frustrated. Please don’t take this as I am talking about a child or being so negative about it, but it isn’t about her, it’s about the parents and with them being so public, we all have a right to voice an opinion. I just really didn’t find it appropriate for Kim to dress how she does as a mother, and how she dressed her 1 year old girl with see through black lace.We all have our opinions about the West family, but i am going to remain quiet.

1001_fish_kim

Look of the week

 

As if I didn’t love George Clooney enough, I now love him even more for marrying a fellow Lebanese!! The most coveted and handsome bachelor for years, finally tied the knot to a beautiful lawyer Amal Alamuddin. She is one lucky girl, isn’t she?! I am sorry, I just love that she is Lebanese!

They got married Sept 27 in Venice, Italy. She looked beautiful in an Oscar De La Renta custom gown, and he donned a Georgio Armani tux. She always looks so elegant and effortless, looking at their pictures of the festivities before and after the wedding, every outfit she wore is divine. We are looking at Hollywood royalty and all eyes are going to be on her and all things fashion. Oh! cue the pregnancy rumors, in 5, 4, 3,2, 1…

George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin Wedding Pictures: First Look

Stunning: One of Amal's dress fittings with Oscar de la Renta was captured on camera by Annie Leibovitz for US Vogue and obtained by the New York Post

Utter joy: The pair couldn't have looked any happier as they celebrated their marriage one more time following their civil ceremony

A proud moment: Unable to wipe the smiles off their faces, George and Amal's hands were intertwined when they stepped outObsessed with this dress she wore the next day of the wedding!!! She looked beautiful in the Giambattista Valli Couture frock with floral embellishment.

Dolce & Gabana, Alexander McQueen, Giambattista & Stella McCartney.

Artist & Song Of the week

Sam Smith came out with a bang, didn’t he?! The whole world melted as he belted out Stay With Me, and I don’t know why it took me this long, to listen to the rest of his album. I am so glad I did, I am in love with his voice and all the songs. His voice is so soothing, beautiful and makes you feel calm. It’s real music, with a lot of meaning on each song and you can feel his emotion in every single song. Love, love.

I love alllllll the songs, but this one, I love the video and this song, “I am Not The Only One”…is a tune we can all feel it’s blues. He is my favorite artist right now.

 

Ok, I had to add this video too. I am loving this song as well, His whole album has been on repeat for the last few days.

Paris Fashion Week: 2014

Spring 2015

The Chloe collection was insaneeeeee!!!!!! I am obsessed with everything. It is feminine, soft and I am loving it all.

 

 

 

And of course, my all time obsession Marchesa, kills it every time. Every time.

 

 

Kim & Kanye: Dream Home

Home Sweet Home!

Grand Staircase

It's a Perfect Fit!

Enough Room For the Whole Klan!

Dining in Style

House

Bon Appétit!

Burn, Baby Burn!

Where the Magic Happens

Cue the Glam Sqaud!

Steam for Two!

Enough Room?

 

 

 

 

Entertain

Tranquil and Serene

Lush Surroundings

Smart House

Cheers!

kk1

kk2

kk3

Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West recently bought a $20 million beautiful house in Hidden Hills, California. Includes 8 bedrooms, two master closets, 10 bathrooms, two swimming pools, spa and two vineyards. The house is really beautiful and definitely a dream home for anyone! As big as it is, it seems cozy and the house was built in 2012 to make you feel like you have a house in South France.

Thought of the Day

Like all girls, I always envisioned I would be married with children by a certain age. Having come from a broken home that left me in pieces, I was certain that having my own home would amend the damages and facilitate in fixing myself, and make sense of my purpose. I longed for stability and love, and I resented my reality and love. Love was a sensation I sought, but all I was taught was that love is waiting for someone who is never coming home, love was yearning for someone to hold you to keep you from breaking and that love, love was giving someone the power to destroy you. Nevertheless, I also learned about timing. That time itself heals, that time is virtue and that time tick tocks along with your destiny.

I’ve truly come to accept that certain things just don’t happen, or aren’t meant to happen. My grandmother used to always tell me that before your birth, your book was already written for you and to have faith in destiny. I’ve always agreed with that sentiment because it was comforting to consider the thought of that instead of forfeiting to your reality. It’s just like when people say “everything happens for a reason”, we don’t know what the reasons are but don’t we tend to convince ourselves that things happen because they are meant to? We want to believe that there is a purpose for all our hardships, because we don’t want to amuse the reflection that it is because of our own accountability. I’ve struggled with navigating through my chapters, and I find myself questioning where I have been, where I am and where I am going. If it will all lead me to the destiny I believe that I desire, and not get wedged with a fate that I won’t be able to accept. Learning to trust my journey even when I don’t understand it has been both challenging and exhilarating.

As I learn to acknowledge that things aren’t meant to happen or simply isn’t happening at the moment, while holding on to the notion of getting what I feel should belong to me, I’ve reached a peak where having love and giving love now feels like fairytale. The image I’ve painted in my mind of a life I have always longed for has become an imagination. The picture of a beautiful white picket fence house with three children running around as I stand beside a man who loves me, is so far away but the need for it is so close to heart. How do I construct that image in real life? How do I put aside my self-destruction and allow love to restore me? How do you sever the self-harmful behavior and live the life you crave and not be trapped with uncertainty over where life has taken you? How do you retrieve control? These questions linger in my mind and I don’t have any of the answers, all I have is hope.

Growing up with a divorced single mother taught me the significance of independence and to never settle. Being guarded has constrained me in various ways and worst of all, loneliness has become comfortable. Being unaided allowed me to discover who I am and figure out why I constantly chose to be alone. I knew from early on that since I didn’t know how to be loved, I simply needed to be left on my own. And in its own mysterious and secluded way, my loneliness is how I have been able to maintain having control of my life. Eventually, being on your own also disables you from seeing how far you have come. There isn’t anyone reminding you on your good or bad days how much you’ve accomplished. There isn’t anyone to share the highs and lows with. I am in a peculiar transition in my life – some dreams have actually come true and yet, I am filled with a prospective reality that I am scared of. I worked extraordinarily hard to get to where I am now – which is moving to a city I have always wanted to live in and establishing a career I always knew I wanted to embark on. I always wanted to have the sense of being accomplished by the age of 25 and I actually made it, it is the one thing I feel so deserving of and it all feels surreal. But, at the same time of having what I always wanted, I also have nothing. I have everything but nothing at the same time. I am mutually happy and sad.

I am a conversationalist. I value when someone, anyone, allows me inside their mind and share with me their journey, their hopes, the misgivings and all their aspirations. I like depth, as I fall deeper within my lonesome. I crave having someone to talk to, someone to care for, and to simply have something of my own; all the attributes I lost and was neglected of while growing up. Professionally, I am fulfilled and personally, I am unfilled. Although I chose to go on this path, I still marvel of how I ended up where I am and how I became who I am. I so shoddily wanted a story to tell. I was envious of relationships – whether they were fresh, good or wrecked. I’ve never been competent of truly being a girlfriend and I didn’t distinguish a healthy relationship of a husband and wife from my parent’s marriage, therefore, when I see relationships around me, I find myself staring like a child, and being fascinated because I’ve never actually seen it or felt it before. The one heartbreak I did have, I was breaking alone while his heart quickly moved on, and the experience I had with him, years later, has still left me damaged. It was earth shattering and I simply don’t want to go through it again. Still, I am envious of heartbreaks; because heartbreaks remind me of it coming along with someone you can cry too and cry for, someone to fight for and a face to dream of. But wanting it and having it is not the same, I persuaded myself that I no longer wanted to contain any of it. I had nothing to fix, and no one to be broken with, and again, I so deficiently wanted a story to tell, a story other than my own.

As I started to get older and life took me along its twists and turns, I learned to focus on a career and put aside the fairytale of love. A career has value, it has security and a career won’t ever decide it didn’t want you any longer. My force and my dreams were fixated on establishing a career and moving away from Brooklyn. I watched so many lives move on with marriages and children, and I was stagnant and didn’t choose to attain any of it in order to protect me, in case I never have any of it. Does that make sense? I couldn’t find my worth and became engrossed with my insecurities. I mastered how to dislike myself and couldn’t comprehend the idea of someone wanting to love me. I also knew I had limitations when it came to love and relationships. I made a personal decision to abstain from sex till marriage. It was an assessment I made that I could have revoked at any time but I chose not to. I have been persistent on holding on to my traditional values, and as right as that may sound, I have nothing to show for being a ‘good girl’. In dissertation, I am considered perfection, but in reality, I am well thought-out as flawed.

The times I would allow a relationship to develop, I would get cheated on, and I once ended up in terribly abusive relationship. I didn’t make the right choices in men; it was only their darkness that attracted me. I don’t know how to see the light in a man, and I had to come to terms with it all being tied up to deeper issues stemming from the absence of my father. As I got into my twenties, and after going through my latest and greatest heartbreak five years ago, I shut my spirit off and became cynical. I didn’t want to invest in anything that wouldn’t get anywhere. I disregarded and rejected every man who was interested, because I knew I had nothing to offer them, other than great conversations…but the matter with that is, men want more and I require much less. A woman like me acquires a man’s intellect, thoughts and passions. A woman who is fascinated by how he maneuvers and study how he functions, to crave being a part of his existence, to want his flesh and not just settle for the butterflies he can make me experience. A woman like me wants his soul, to be permitted inside his darkness and be the radiance when he needs it most and a woman like myself, will wait for the tolerant man who can take pride in having someone like me, someone with principles, someone who cultivates, someone who has saved herself for the man who can be overwhelmed with the concept of having a woman untainted and all for him. Men want to take women through a storm for their gratifications, as they collect names like a hurricane, and I never been and never will be just a name. I want to be the moon that aligns the stars and thrust someone to make their wishes come true. And when someone can’t find the strength to look up because life is weighing them down; I want to be the sun that can shine for them when they need it most. I want nothing from someone, other than to make me feel like I matter to them. That is all. I was clever enough to not want someone to love me; where that alone would be enough, as to where I wouldn’t have to learn to love myself. I was smart enough to dive into my independence but dense enough to sink and paralyze my youth.

Life also trained me how to walk away and at twenty-two years old, I finally left Brooklyn. I moved to Myrtle Beach for two years to finish school. I learned and grew a lot and the most significant lesson I learned was that I have a tendency to run away instead of dealing with anything internal. But when you don’t deal with what has gone or still going on, it keeps going on. I was being held back incapable of feeling my existence. Even with a new city and having a roommate, I remained isolated and locked myself in my bedroom when I would be home from school and work. I had family around, so I wasn’t always alone but I was lonely. My life was occupied by working two jobs and attending school full time, and I held on to my circumstance and I ran with the verity that I was working hard to secure my future, and that nothing else should matter in the present. I wasn’t allowing myself to feel the life I was living in; instead I kept trying to be an architect of days that haven’t happened yet.

I am in the process of revaluating myself, figure life outside of wanting two of the things I now have (new job and new city). I walk into my studio apartment in Miami Beach, with a stack of bills on the counter and a list of errands I have yet to accomplish. My phone is never on silent but it also never rings. I go for a stroll and I stare at the faces that walk by. I look in admiration of the holding hands and I question if I will ever have someone to hold on to too. I can never comprehend how I became used to being alone, to the point where I question if there could be a life for me without loneliness. I’ve become too accustomed to it and I want to readjust away from that feeling. I saunter back home and I am still astounded of where I am and how far I have come. I am finally here! Could it be, that I was worthy of a dream coming true? Now what? How do I turn my emptiness into fulfillness? I want to have it all. What I do want now is the same thing I have tried to escape from. I want love and to finally be loved and as much as that scares me, it is something I am finally permitting myself to…desire.

I used to believe that I had to prove myself to everyone. I wanted to be validated. It was a weight I was carrying that became a ship on my shoulders. I had to let go of the need to attest to everyone who and how I am. I needed to dig in and identify why I was becoming angry; was it because I was ashamed of whom I am and the choices I have made? As proud as I am of myself, is as much as I am bitter. However, I am realizing that I only owe myself the aptitude to be free and open, the courage to introduce myself with confidence, the continuous willpower to hold on to my ethics and standards, and the spirit to make them be appreciated, the strength to continue to search for my self-worth and forgive myself and the aspiration to want love in my life and to no longer be terrified of it.

I am starting to believe in the fairytale all over again, through gaining more wisdom and as my imagination wanders, I am revisiting the image I have painted in my mind of a life I always sought after and trust that I deserve for it all to happen. Although the unknown is scary, I’ve come to terms that I am doing myself a disservice by being trapped in a bubble I’ve been living in. You know, I’ve always wanted children. It is the only fixation I have desperately wanted, but I am stuck by my own manipulation into believing I don’t want it, again, just to shield myself in case I never do acquire any of it. I am not frightened of feeling pain; I am scared to go crazy over love, and anxious to have another earth-shattering heartbreak. The reasons why I am protecting myself is because I can be prepared, be equipped for that loss of never having children, thus how I can just carry on living with the void. Since I wasn’t secure of having a boyfriend, a marriage and kids, I wanted it to be known to everyone around me that my focal point was only to obtain a career and not a relationship, I didn’t want anyone to think that my loneliness was because something was missing or wrong with me. I need for people to know that it was because of my own choices, which is true, and that I am the only one that has the supremacy of my being. It’s been my freedom and me. Frankly, I had to be honest with my new self and stop convincing the new me that I didn’t want love, and that love didn’t want me.

In the end, I’ve been a girl who thought would have it all, but I ended up being the woman who just wanted it all. Can you recognize the difference between the two? I do and it’s a hard pill to swallow. But this was my reality and I had to let go of the vision I have planned for myself and live in what is happening. It is time for me to ascertain who I really am in this moment, and to face my qualms of love and to no longer consider it will destroy me but instead, to allow that light in and have it repair me.

Quote of the day

This weekend I watched a good movie titled “Stuck In Love”, have you watched it? If not, you should, its on Netflix. It has a good message about forgiveness and allowing yourself to love and be loved.
Many favorite quotes but this was my absolute favorite:

“I never enjoy anything. I’m always waiting for whatever’s next. I think everyone’s like that. Living life in fast forward. Never stopping to enjoy the moment. Too busy trying to rush through everything so we can get on with what we are really supposed to be doing with our lives. I get these flashes of brilliant clarity where for a second I stop and I think “Wait, this is it, this is my life. I better slow down and enjoy it because one day we’re all going to end up in the ground and that’ll be it, we’ll be gone”

Photo of the day

 

Jessica Simpson got married this weekend to her baby-daddy Eric Johnson – after two kids, four years together, Jessica is looking better than ever! This picture is SO beautiful! Can’t wait to see her wedding dress, I am sure it will be just as beautiful. As we all know this is her second marriage, she was once married to Nick Lachey, who has also remarried to Vanessa Lachey, and they are expecting their second child later this year. What is interesting about their new partners, is that they each found their perfect fit – Jessica and Eric look like Barbie and Ken and Nick and Vanessa look like the brunette version of….Barbie and Ken! Haaa!

 

For the heck of it, here is a quote from Nick Lachey during a Rolling Stone interview shortly after their divorce:

“It breaks my heart that I couldn’t make Jessica happy. I wanted to be everything to my wife. I wanted her to look at me with love in her eyes, the way she did at the beginning, and have her feel like I was the most wonderful, awe-inspiring man on the planet. And when that stopped, it was the worst feeling in the world.”

Decor: Malibu Dream House

http://media3.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/2a162d3a62b7e3cf_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.09.24_PM.xxxlarge/i/Indoor-outdoor-living-its-finest.jpg” alt=”Indoor-outdoor living at its finest. Wouldn’t you agree?
Source: Chris Cortazzo
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http://media4.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/4cef99399b207966_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.09.49_PM.xxxlarge/i/formal-living-room-arguably-has-best-views-house.jpg” alt=”The formal living room arguably has the best views in the house.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
” width=”1024″ height=”662″ />

http://media1.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/d26e37891280def1_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.05.27_PM.xxxlarge/i/One-home-six-bedrooms-opens-out-onto-patio.jpg” alt=”One of the home’s six bedrooms opens out onto a patio.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
” width=”1024″ height=”676″ />

http://media3.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/861/n/1922794/0d872d539ae93f8e_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.04.29_PM.xxxlarge/i/infinity-pool-definitely-selling-point.jpg” alt=”The infinity pool is definitely a selling point.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
” width=”1024″ height=”670″ />

http://media4.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/9caa149eb4eefef6_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.08.48_PM.xxxlarge/i/Naturally-sauna-well-massage-room.jpg” alt=”Naturally, there’s a sauna, as well as a massage room.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
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http://media3.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/861/n/1922794/dbdea1db83759f51_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.04.19_PM.xxxlarge/i/sliding-glass-doors-den-makes-most-ocean-views.jpg” alt=”With sliding glass doors, the den makes the most of the ocean views.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
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http://media4.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/e1007acb9d9d5ecf_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.06.25_PM.xxxlarge/i/outdoor-fire-pit-ideal-evening-entertaining.jpg” alt=”The outdoor fire pit is ideal for evening entertaining.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
” width=”1024″ height=”677″ />

http://media4.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/a6adb876dc6617ce_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.07.17_PM.xxxlarge/i/Aside-from-sauna-massage-rooms-bathroom-suite.jpg” alt=”Aside from the sauna and massage rooms, this bathroom suite is the perfect place to relax.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
” width=”1024″ height=”673″ />

http://media1.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/2d90da3b54a5a109_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.08.04_PM.xxxlarge/i/game-room-includes-wet-bar-pool-table.jpg” alt=”The game room includes a wet bar and pool table.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
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http://media4.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/3955ce56943d4b5f_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.07.29_PM.xxxlarge/i/closet-has-plenty-space-handbags-clothes-shoes.jpg” alt=”The closet has plenty of space for handbags, clothes, and shoes.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
” width=”1024″ height=”672″ />

http://media4.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/58dd4d078b29e98d_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.08.19_PM.xxxlarge/i/surprise-even-movie-theater.jpg” alt=”No surprise, there’s even a movie theater.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
” width=”1024″ height=”670″ />

http://media1.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/f73d6982f633193d_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.08.31_PM.xxxlarge/i/private-gym-has-everything-one-needs-stay-fit.jpg” alt=”The private gym has everything one needs to stay fit.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
” width=”1024″ height=”662″ />

http://media1.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/a707c0777ebf1ccd_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.10.00_PM.xxxlarge/i/Elaborate-woodwork-lends-itself-luxe-library-office.jpg” alt=”Elaborate woodwork lends itself to a luxe library and office.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
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http://media2.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/a551b8da4a0b7be1_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.08.59_PM.xxxlarge/i/multimillion-dollar-views-include-those-Santa-Monica-Point.jpg” alt=”The multimillion-dollar views include those of Santa Monica and Point Dume.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
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http://media3.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/db1cf845d9a2f984_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.09.12_PM.xxxlarge/i/grand-dining-room-known-its-many-televised-dinner-parties.jpg” alt=”The grand dining room is known for its many televised dinner parties.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
” width=”1024″ height=”671″ />

http://media3.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/e79361717fb3abf7_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.09.36_PM.xxxlarge/i/deck-has-plenty-space-lounging-pool.jpg” alt=”The deck has plenty of space for lounging by the pool.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
” width=”1024″ height=”665″ />

http://media4.onsugar.com/files/2014/06/06/862/n/1922794/b7c092fae60b8e94_Screen_Shot_2014-06-06_at_12.10.11_PM.xxxlarge/i/custom-kitchen-houses-Twitter-famous-fridge.jpg” alt=”The custom kitchen houses Twitter’s famous fridge.
Source: Chris Cortazzo
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This house is INSANE!!!!!! What a dream home, huh??! It is owed by David & Yolanda Foster. It is up for sale for $28 million. I don’t know why they would even put this up for sale, oh wait, rich people problems, they are on to bigger and better things! The life! I love the coziness of the house, it feels very homey, traditional and full. I love that! The scenery is just amazing to wake up to every day!

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Poem: I Am

Who Am I?
Am I who they want me to be
Am I who I should be
Am I the girl I used to be
Am I the woman I want to be
Who do I oughta be to be happy..within
Me, myself…is all I have to give
But that’s never enough,
Everyone asks for too much.

You are too big, can always be too thin enough.
You are too loud, you aren’t loud enough.
You are too quiet, you aren’t quiet enough.
You are too revered, never wild enough.
You are smart, but can always be dumb enough.

You are too sensitive, you feel too much.
You cry too much, there is an ocean just made of your tears
They don’t want to know your fears
You express too much, must suppress it all.
Gotta pick myself up when I fall.

You are too alone, go somewhere and roam.
Stop staying home, there is a whole new world outside
They don’t know, I appreciate the silence in a world that never stops talking.
I just keep walking
Walked away from these Brooklyn streets filled with too many memories.
Right here on the pier reminds me of Mitchell,
First heartbreak, biggest mistake.
Right over here on 6th ave is filled with moments of Joseph.
Hiding behind a tree just to see his smile,
so no one can see us, found a little park to hide
the leaves would fall, never wanted the season to change
but they changed colors as fast as he changed his mind.
Something so sweet became so sour
I was 18, now I am 24, no kiss since then..
a little back and forth wit him..
I was loyal to my memories of him.

You don’t date, you need a boyfriend.
You love too much, but have no one to love you.
You reveal too much, stop sharing your writings.
You are too sad, stop telling your story
You are too happy, remember your story.

Your butt is getting too big
Your mind is getting smaller
Look in the mirror, this is not the Roe we know.
What to her body, what happened to her soul..
Look at her hair, she doesn’t even do it anymore
We thought she loved fashion, what happened to her passions?
Look at how she dresses, always in black…like she has something to mourn.
She must’a let herself go.
What for, we don’t know, we don’ care.
Her body has gone through surgeries and depression
Scars, starves and all.
All these scars don’t matter, she must never show
She is supposed to be what we want her to be.

She is shy, yet she puts up pictures
Through her phone, she is confident
Her insecurities are loud, she must never let them peak.
Yet, they bring her down with words that hurt, and she takes it all in.
Tell her to stop posting up pictures,
She should be quiet about her life, not everyone needs to know.
Look at how she poses, always with the same angle
Where she goes, where she is and how good her make up looks
Hey, what happened to Roe
She stopped putting up pictures, what is she hiding
Through all her selfless and scenery, her life they will never know.

She works too hard, doesn’t work enough
She moves too fast, still slow enough.
She never sits still, look how lazy she is.
She can’t drive, yet is always where you need her to be
You call, she runs.
Doesn’t call enough, doesn’t agree with us enough.
She tells them what they want to hear, still can never please anyone enough.
Tired of never being enough.

You see, the world has been bringing her down
Strong through it all, they still don’t want to give her credit for being human.

Who am I?
I am what they tell I am
I am what I know I am
I am what I am not
I am what I have been
I am what I will become.

I am all the words that killed me within
I am the pounds I gained,
I am the weight I lost.
I am all the surgeries I had
I am the scars on my body.

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