Thought Of the Day

It wasn’t that long ago when reality star Evelyn Lozada was throwing drinks in peoples faces as we watched her yell and attack her co stars in Basketball Wives Miami. It also was less than 4 years when she was in a relationship with former NFL player Chad Johnson for 2 years, who she married and went on to divorce after 4 weeks of marriage due to a domestic violence dispute. Their own reality show that was supposed to chronicle their road to the alter was nixed as Johnson was fired and shortly after Basketball Wives Miami canceled due to major backlash from Lozada’s actions. She disappeared from our screens and from the radar for a little while until less than 2 years ago she popped up 7 months pregnant by a baseball player Carl Crawford…who I should mention plays for the Dodgers and is one of the richest baseball players worth $400 million!

The couple have yet to be seen and be photographed together and have maintained a low profile. No one even knew of their relationship till she announced her pregnancy. I am sure we will see him on her new reality show.

Home girl went from dating a basketball player Antoine Walker, to marrying a football player Chad Johnson to now being engaged to a baseball player. (who proposed with a massive diamond ring that I have to share, it’s insane!)

She went from mean girl to a new mom of two – she has a beautiful 22 year old daughter who just signed a modeling contract with huge modeling agency Wihelmina and now an adorable son who recently turned 1! It’s pretty amazing to see how drastic someones life has changed in such a short period of time. She has released two books, secured an endorsement deal with y2H0 and launched a makeup line…and she is now back on TV showing us all just much she has changed in a huge platform, none other than Oprah’s OWN network! Huge deal and she has a huge following that I am sure will all be tuning in to see the new Evelyn. I actually liked her spunk in the beginning of Basketball Wives Miami until it got really tiring seeing her jumping up on tables to attack women, throwing the same drinks in different faces every other episode, even throwing a bottle of wine at someone, and constantly screaming profanity and starting verbal and physical fights. It all even lead for a boycotting of the reality show which led to it’s cancellation, she received backlash and it prompted producers of all reality shows on Vh1 to nix all physical fights between the women. Then I saw the two episodes of her interviews with my favorite author and show Iyanla:Fix My Life  and I was able to understand her more and where her anger and craziness stemmed from and I related to her pain about her father abandoning her, and I have to add that I loved the letter she wrote and published on Huffington Post in 2012 that I shared below. I’ll be watching her new show Livin’ Lozada because I am honestly fascinated when peoples lives changes drastically in such a short time and curious to see what her new life is like. I never understood how women like her who are on these reality shows get rewarded for being thugs, mean and awful to other people, why do we tune in to watch it? why do these women get the glory, money, fame and fans? These women are getting paid to be on TV for being mean or being girlfriends/wives to athletes and it’s absurd this has become a huge fixture in pop culture. But it’s not for us to understand, I think it’s just luck and it’s meant for these women to be famous for different reasons and live that lifestyle, and we all still tune in to watch! So they are winning in every way possible! But the good thing is this show is going to be on OWN so it’ll have a touch of class and not trash TV like VH1.

Here is the letter Lozada wrote to herself and published on the Post in 2012 after she received backlash from the show, and it was before she married Johnson and everything changed. The letter really touched me and inspired me to write my own letter to myself that I will share soon.

Here is the full article via The Huffington Post


It has been a dramatic year for Evelyn Lozada, the star of VH1’s hit show “Basketball Wives.”

Between her highly publicized feud with her former best friend, Jennifer Williams, to throwing a bottle at cast-mate Kenya Bell following a heated argument, to the petition boycotting her “violent outbursts” on the show, season four has been the reality star’s most intense one yet.

But when Star Jones called Lozada out on Twitter and her own step-daughter started imitating the scene in which Lozada threw a bottle at Bell, the Puerto Rican reality star says it woke her up to the fact that she’s not setting a good example to young girls. And after taking a good hard look in the mirror, Lozada realized it was time to change.

In a letter Lozada shared exclusively with The Huffington Post, she apologizes for her destructive behavior on the show, reflects on issues of self-esteem and the effects of her upbringing on her behavior, and acknowledges her mistakes. She opens up about feeling “painfully small,” and recalls the days when she “drowned out the fighting and drama” in her house as a child.

Read Evelyn’s heartfelt letter below.

Dear Mija,

In exactly twenty-nine years you’re going to find yourself at the middle of a mess that you unwillingly helped to create… You’re going to be the topic of a discussion about women on a national level that won’t be one of your proudest moments. And as large as your life may be at that time, the truth is that you’re going to feel painfully small.

You’ll look through the rearview mirror of your life and see a mountain of mistakes. You’ll realize that although it appears that you’re living out a dream, your seven year old self could never picture this near nightmare at thirty-six. You’ll remember the days when you drowned out the fighting and drama in your own house and the negativity of the women you loved who ultimately shape who you will become. You’ll recall the moments when you sat in front of the television each day after school in search of someone positive and found Oprah and wondered if people like her would ever be a part of your life, or if you’d always have the jaded ones you watched on Jerry Springer.

You’ll make no excuses for your actions, as a matter of fact, you’ll find yourself in tears at the Ah-ha moment Star Jones forces you to have. Beyond what you’ll initially perceive as a malicious attack by Star, lives a hard truth that will shake you to your core. YOU are the little girl, she’s talking about. And it hadn’t dawned on you the effects that your grown-up actions were having on the next generation of little ones who watch negative and abusive moments unfold on television.

It’ll take the moment when you see and hear your future step-daughters pretending to be “you” after watching you behave badly on T.V., that you’ll actually feel real shame. Knowing that the self image they were imitating was the very ‘image of self’ you will so desperately try to escape. In utter embarrassment you’ll find yourself explaining your unacceptable behavior to them, reaching for the imprint of encouragement felt by Star, Oprah, our First Lady Michelle Obama and other positive women of color that have gone before you and that are prayerfully standing behind you…encouraging you…willing you to stand in the space God will so graciously provide for you.” It’ll be the wakeup call you need.

Until now, you’d never put a race, or face or even an age to the eyes that idolize you or see you as an example: be it good or bad. And although, conscious now, you’ll carry the fear of failure with you each second because deep down, you’ll realize that you yourself had never been taught better.

I cannot promise you perfection, Mija. I cannot say that overnight, I’m going to get it right every time. What I will promise you is that I will always remain conscious that little eyes like yours are watching me and because of that, I will try to be better.

Learning To Love You More,

Evelyn

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