Thought of the day: Parallel lives w/ Exes

You ever find yourself in a relationship with someone you have been with for so many years; you go through all the pits, all the peaks and you find that love just isn’t enough to keep you together. You both part ways and finally stop breaking up to making up. And soon after that, you both move on with other people. Then a few months later, your ex is having a baby or getting married to that new person. That man or woman you have fought with and fought to be with and went through so much with becomes a better person for their new partner and is giving them what you always thought you would have with them.  You went through so much, helped each other grow, challenged one another and stuck by each other all while thinking there will be a happy ending and that the relationship you tried to save and kept trying to repair will be worth it in the end. But, it doesn’t work out quiet that way. You ended up molding your ex to be a better partner for the next person, it’s almost as if you conditioned them to be what you always knew they can be and hoped they will be for you…but they became who you wanted to someone else. You held on to hope all this time only for you to watch someone else have what belonged to you for so long. It stings.

We see it happen all the time and it always trips me out how when you decide to move on from someone, you never think they REALLY move on and have life hit you with so many changes shortly after. You can’t help but think it was supposed to be with me!

For instance, Julia Roberts and Benjamin Bratt were together for six years, they broke up and not even 6 months into the breakup they suddenly got married to different people and had kids. Jimmy Kimmell and Sarah Silverman were together for 8 years till they stopped laughing together, and he got married and had a kid two years after the breakup with someone else. Charlize Theron and her ex boyfriend were together for 10 years, they never married or had kids, a year after their breakup her ex found himself a wife and a baby, while Charlize ended up adopting a kid a few years after.Ben Affleck called off his wedding to Jennifer Lopez in Sept and by June Jennifer married Marc Anthony around the same time Ben married and knocked up Jennifer Garner. Jennifer ended up divorcing Marc after 8 years of marriage and twins together whilst Ben and Jen G are going on ten years of marriage and three kids.Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey….the breakup that the whole world felt, they were together for over 8 years, got married and ended up in divorce after 3 years…soon after that, Nick found comfort with Vanessa Lachey and Jessica struggled to find love with John Mayer, Tony Romo and eventually found her match with ex-NFL player Eric Johnson. After 5 years together Nick and Vanessa were married, Jessica got pregnant and welcomed a daughter in May ’12 and Nick welcomed a son in Sept ’12. Now they both are happily married with two kids each – Nick with a boy named Camden and a new born daughter Brooklyn and Jessica with her daughter Maxwell and son Ace. What I find adorable is Jessica and Eric look like the blonde version of Barbie and Ken and Nick and Vanessa look like the brunette version of the dolls! Each couple compliment each other so beautifully.

George Clooney was with Stacey Keibler for two years and he famously declared he never wanted kids or marriage, a year after the breakup Stacey found herself happily married and preparing to welcome a baby girl, while George married his new girlfriend of less than a year Amal Alamuddin. It took him an intelligent and beautiful Lebanese woman to know when you find the right one, you do right by them by giving them more than just a title. Julissa Bermudez was with ex-NFL player Larry Johnson for 5 years and they were engaged but never made it down the alter. Larry struggled with drinking and was arrested for domestic abuse several times. During an episode of her reality show she ran into him and couldn’t hold back her tears of frustration as Larry revealed he is sober, happily in love and has a one year old daughter. Each revelation, Julissa told her friends later, was like a dagger in her heart. During her relationship with the athlete, she says he drank to excess, wasn’t trying to be faithful and – although he wanted a baby – wasn’t yet ready to be a father.

The worst is Naya Rivera and Big Sean who were engaged and set to be married in July of 2014 after being together for two years…Naya did end up getting married on the same date, same wedding dress and same location that was set to be with Sean…expect it was a different engagement ring and a groom who is actor Ryan Dorsey. She married her new guy after being broken up with Sean for four months and they are now expecting a baby together, while Big Sean recently broke up with Ariana Grande after 8 months of dating…oddest coupling ever.

The list goes on and on from famous celebs and people you personally know that its happened to.He tells you he isn’t ready for marriage, so you break up to learn soon after that he is engaged to his new girlfriend. She tells you she doesn’t want kids so you decide to break it off, and then you see her happy and pregnant with her new dude. Life changes after you part with someone and as hard as it may be to understand, it’s simply destiny working for you not against you. You are meant to be in someone’s life for a reason but aren’t meant to be with them for a lifetime. Not everyone you marry you are supposed to have kids with and grow old together, and not everyone you have kids with you are meant to be with.

I have always been the girl with no title and just the girl “I talk to” and never been the girlfriend and I always stayed dealing with someone longer than I should have. Every time me and a guy would cut it off, I would see how they quickly get with another girl and those girls became their girlfriends but I wasn’t able to be given that title because I was so adamant about keeping my virginity till marriage. No guy wanted to stick with me and it always hurt to see them in relationships so quickly after they would stop talking to me! (I’ve had two long situations and just 3 guys I talked to) I always felt as though I wasn’t worthy as a woman to be loved. I held myself back and I never gave in and I was always given up on. In my two situations, one was physically and emotionally abusive and in the 9 months we were “together” he never took me out on a date, instead we would hang out in his car and just argue. Shortly after we stopped dealing with each other he got together with a girl I knew, and he treated her with respect, showed her off as his girl and took her on dates and all. I clearly wasn’t what he wanted, but it still stung that I wasn’t worthy of his kindness or to be taken out anywhere. She ended up cheating on him, we started to talk again, and then he ended up getting with a new girl, we started to talk yet again till I found out he had a newborn son with her and I finally cut him out of my life.

And another relationship that left me heartbroken and lead me to be single for 8 years (lame…I know), was with a guy I knew since we were little kids, our families were friends and it just felt right to finally  get together when we got older. He showed me so much admiration and respect, we weren’t in love yet but it felt like I had a shot of love once and for all. We talked about marriage and he would call me five times a day till the calls stopped and I found out he got back with an ex-girlfriend. They ended up getting married due to her pregnancy, but sadly, they lost the twins they were expecting prematurely and they ended up divorced, years after that he reached out to me several times and we would talk again but due to his heartbreak over the loss of his kids and other stuff, he was never been the same and went on a dark path of drugs and jail. I have never been told “I love you” from a guy and my father walked out of my life when I was 12 after my parents divorced. He stopped being a parent when he was no longer a husband. So I am aware I have some deep rooted male/daddy issues, so to speak, and for so long I have convinced myself that love won’t ever find me, but as I get older and as the comfort of my loneliness continues to linger, I am realizing that a career isn’t going to fulfill me and bring me happiness like having a family of my own will, and that I need to allow love in and not just give it. I’ll be 26 in the summer; a virgin and very single for the last 8 years. I have turned down every guy who asked for my number and for a date. I just don’t feel ready and I don’t know if I ever will. I don’t want to waste mine or their time because I know it’ll end before it begins soon as I tell them I am a virgin still. Honestly, I feel pathetic and I always imagine having a boyfriend and what it would be like and how good of a partner I know I will be..I have done all the right things yet I have nothing to show for being the “good girl” but I am starting to have hope that I will have love and I know that what is meant for me will come to me. You can”t force it and you can’t look for it. I am spiritual and I truly believe that God has big things in store for me and God has yet to fail me. Everything I have wanted has either happened to me or instead, something better came along.

Sorry didn’t mean to go way off subject…it’s just examples of coming out of heartbreak and really bad situations with a person and you finding out the hard way that they are better off without you, or you are better off without them. It’s hard to see someone be happy with someone else when they couldn’t be content with you. You feel as though you failed as a person and you failed that particular person. But in the end, as bad as it was, as bad as it hurt, you end up glad that you didn’t get what you thought you deserved, sometimes life leads you down a different road when you are holding on to someone you have to let go. There is always good in goodbye.

Look at Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush for a good example! They were together on and off for four years. All she ever spoke about was her desire to get married and have kids with Reggie, and hinted at an engagement to him plenty of times via interviews and her reality show. Shortly after they broke things off, Reggie settled down with another Armenian beauty, Lilit Avagyan, who oddly enough resembles Kim K before her surgeries. As for Kimmy cakes she famously struggled to find love; she dated Miles Austin, Aubry Gabriel and went on to famously marry Kris Humphries in August after a whirlwind courtship that  lasted less than two years as she surprised him with a divorce in October ’12, to only start dating Kanye West in December ’12 and by June ’13 she had a baby with Kanye…all while still being married to Kris, as they were still going through a nasty divorce battle. In the end, Kim got her happy ending and is now married to Kanye West and they have become a larger than life household name together.

Ironically, Reggie and Kim are going through the same exact life changes in the same exact timeline but with different people. Reggie and his than fiance welcomed a daughter in March ’13, and Kim welcomed her daughter North West in June ’13. Kim got married that following May and Reggie got married a few months after in July, and now they are both expecting sons – Reggie and his wife due to welcome a son in Sept ’15 and Kim and Kanye are set to welcome a son later this year in December. Side-note: After Kanye and Amber Rose broke up – he hooked up with Kim before she married Kris and Amber Rose hooked up with Reggie after he broke up with Kim. Talk about a parallel life between the two exes! It’s crazy that the same things are happening to each of them at the same time, engagements, marriages and children (down to the same sex, same year and both births be so close to each other) Again, sometimes the reasons you don’t get what you want and all that you wish for with a person you are in love with at the time,  is all happening because you are meant to have your wishes come true with someone else.

Don’t both these little beauties resemble each other? Just like their moms do! LOL!


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