Via: Glamour Magazine
Over the last three years, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi Glanville has gone from just that (a housewife with two kids) to a divorcée with big-time baggage—in the form of her ex, Eddie Cibrian, and his new wife, LeAnn Rimes. But she’s stronger than ever. Here, her surprising wisdom for every woman. Before Brandi Glanville became the breakout star of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills back in 2011, the world had watched a different kind of reality play out for her: Two years earlier, her husband of nearly 10 years, Eddie Cibrian, had an affair with married country singer LeAnn Rimes. The drama unfolded in the tabloids like a soap opera because Glanville—that rare Housewife even Housewife skeptics love—would not let her marriage fall apart without a fight. Today she is grateful to have survived the mess intact, and she wants you to learn from her very public agony. “My story is very different from Eddie and LeAnn’s story,” she says. “They have a love story; I have a heartbreak story. But you know what? It’s my truth.” And, if you ever need it, she hopes her truth will set you free.
Lesson 1: Be a ‘me’ before you’re a ‘we’
I didn’t go to college; I went to Europe to model. And then when I met Eddie, I was like “I’ll follow you around, take care of you, cook you breakfast, be the wife you want.” I never established anything for myself. I didn’t have an education. I never even established credit; because he paid for everything, everything was in his name. I didn’t work. So when all this went down, at 36 years old, I found myself having to ask my dad to cosign so I could get a place to live and a car. Make sure you’re an individual before you become a couple.
Lesson 2: Know the red flags
I am not a snooper. I never looked at Eddie’s phone or went through his email; I didn’t really know how to use the computer. But I’ve realized that you have to be aware. Ask the right questions. If a man has two phones, I think that’s a giant red flag. And he showers before going to the gym? Wait a minute, what’s that about? I made up a word. I was bignorant – blissfully ignorant. Eddie’s phone would be off, and he’d say he didn’t have service on the gold course or that his battery died. And I’d think to myself. Sure, that’s possible. I had lots of suspicions but no proof. And another thing: You have to set boundaries. If he’s on social media, you should be on social media. Married men are horny enough as is. They don’t need the opportunity to reconnect with an ex or see a pretty picture.
Lesson 3: You don’t have to give him a second chance
When the whole LeAnn Rimes thing came out, I kind of knew. You know when you know. But Eddie convinced me that he and LeAnn where just friends, and he was helping a friend in need. I believed him because I wanted to. We had two beautiful kids, this wonderful life. He still is the love of my life. Then, when he finally did admit it, he said it was a onetime thing and we went into therapy. I told my friends, “listen people make mistakes”. But then we took the kids to see my parents for their anniversary. My uncle walks up to me and goes “did you hear about the other woman”? I thought he was talking about LeAnn. During that time I had stopped watching the news or getting the magazines. We get back home, and my friends calls me and says “there are pictures of Eddie on your boat kissing another girl”. I got a bottle of wine, and I cried and cried. Now I know: once a cheater, always a cheater.
Lesson 4: Get a little revenge
First, I called Eddie’s mom. We were very close. I had nursed her through an illness. She basically lived with us.I said, “there’s more than just LeAnn. I’m..I’m not OK.” And I got a knife and I went out to the garage. I just took it to both of his Harleys. I hated those bikes – my dad had almost died in a motorcycle accident. I had never wanted Eddie on them, because we had children. I slashed all of the tires, and it felt so good. I called his mom back and told her “I want you to know I just killed Eddie’s motorcycles.” And she was like, “Thank God.”. That night when Eddie got home, I said “I am going to move into a hotel for a week, and you get to get out of this house.”. At this point, I felt he was a very hands-off father. We had a nanny who lived with us, and it was mostly she and I raising our children. He was like “I love you – I’ll do anything.” And I said “If it had been one person you cheated with it would’ve been different.
After that I left for the hotel. He refused to move out. He didn’t want to let go of us. And I am like “You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too. I am done.”
Lesson 5: Try not to take the bait
When I’m home alone on a holiday and LeAnn is tweeting pictures with my children, it breaks my heart. One way I hear from LeAnn is she’ll text me hurtful things like, “I can’t wait to make your kids lunches and go to soccer…”. Marriages break up all the time. People have affairs. Happens every day. It matters how you handle yourself after and if you’re actually remorseful. I’ve never found LeAnn to be remorseful. I found her to be like, “Nah, nah nah nah, I got your family.”
Lesson 6: Limit the wallowing
My heartache probably lasted a lot longer than it should have, because in the old days, you broke up with someone, you never saw them again. You’re not seeing pictures of how in love they are. I started to drink too much. I would cry all day. I began taking an anti-depressant. I got a DUI and realized I needed to wake up and let go. I said to myself “You know what Brandi? You have a life to live. Why are you obsessing over two people? You know Eddie loves your children. It’s time to do you.”
Lesson 7: Loose the toxic friends
I had certain friends who were happy to see me miserable because they had been a little jealous of, “Oh, Brandi gets to marry this hot actor and live in this mansion”.And they were the ones that said “lets go to lunch and drink.” At first I did, because it made me not have to think about my life. Bu those are the ones that aren’t around anymore. As for the rest? Some of them didn’t know how to deal. I had always been the rock for all of us. I was the first one to get married, the first one to have kids. I was the one my friends called when they had a bladder infection and needed advice at the pharmacy. So when they saw me crumble, they really didn’t know how to handle it. But I’ve learned there’s no shame in leaning on your true friends. Make sure that when you’re a couple you don’t stop seeing your girlfriends. A lot of people do: they fall in love and they check out. I made sure to stay in contact and have 13 of the best friends. But it takes work.
Lesson 8: Date when you’re ready
I believe in love, I do. When I was getting out of the relationship with Eddie, I met this guy who was amazing. He was what I needed when. I love him to this day, but I was never in love with him. But he saved me in so many ways. I think starting to date as soon as you can get your mind off the hurt. It makes you feel pretty again. I told all my friends “set me up. I’ll go out with anyone.” I’ve always been very happy, fun, outspoken person. And there were two years of darkness and sadness. But you get your period of mourning. You get to freak out, you get to cry every day, you get to drink too much, you get to f–k too many guys. You get to do all of that. But then…you don’t. There’s a time when you’ve got to get back to your dignity.
– I adore Brandi! I feel for her with what she went through. She gets a lot of flack for being very honest and outspoken but I think it’s refreshing and great traits to have. I think LeAnn is passive aggressive and is constantly doing interviews and crying about the affair and asking for people to move on from it but wont stop trying to have people feel sorry for her for falling in love with a married man with children while she was married herself. None of them handled it good but I think Brandi did the best she could. Neither Eddie or LeAnn have ever seemed remorseful, they have flaunted their relationship and have done interviews talking about how in love they are and how they couldn’t control their feelings not respecting the fact that there are two other people involved that were left hurt and in the dark about the affair. For Brandi, she is not only his ex-wife but the mother of his two children and a woman who had her family ripped apart. I can’t imagine how I would feel if my ex-husband new wife refer to my children as her boys and posts pictures and talks about them constantly. Like Brandi said, marriages break up all the time and for the most part it takes two but in her case she was in a happy marriage while her husband was also in a happy marriage yet secretly living a double life. I shouldn’t say I don’t like someone because I don’t know them but I definitely don’t like LeAnn Rimes and what she has become. You can’t expect people to feel sorry for you when you ruined a family and you need to have respect and some empathy for Brandi instead of trying to make her look like a crazy ex-wife and try to discredit her and throw your flack on her. She also was robbed as a mother from having every moment with her kids, because now she has to share custody There is a lot more I can say about this but I won’t continue on because of how strongly I feel about this issue. It just disgusts me how a person can be okay being in a marriage that began with lies and breaking apart a family. Eddie is sure as hell a good-looking man but also the worst kind of man. They both will get their karma while Brandi will find her light. Frankly, I don’t see how Eddie can be with LeAnn not only is she unfortunate looking and lives in denial but she is no Brandi!
What do guys think? I know the topic of cheating is a sensitive one to many of us. I’ll be buying her book tomorrow, are you?
Also, I chose these pictures because how sad it was to me. Behind her is her ex-husband and his wife, how their relationship started betraying their spouses.
The second is sad because Brandi has to always face the other woman who stole her family and I am sure she pictures herself sitting next to her then husband while watching their children play soccer and reminisce about moments she had with her family that was taken away from her and wonder how it could have still been her.
- The Brandi Glanville & LeAnn Rimes feud heats up on Twitter – Twitter Roundup (cinderellasglasspr.wordpress.com)
- RHOBH’s Brandi Glanville Was Eddie Cibrian’s Mistress Before LeAnn Rimes? Photo Shocks (celebs.gather.com)