Poem of the Day

“Stronger Than Ever”

What you gave me, I know you gave me
You remind me all the time
And how you hurt me and you don’t see it
Again, I am the child
And though you tell me that you love me
I can’t feel it and I’m afraid to let you down
It’s all or nothing, I fear that something’s wrong

I’m tired of walking on eggshells, so terrified to fail
And in order to please you I’ve abandoned myself
And though it used to hurt me when you pushed me away
I’m stronger than ever, you made me this way

How I wish you, you suffered less too
It tears us both apart
And it’s not pretty, the way you criticize me
And how it breaks my heart

And though you tell me that you love me
I can’t feel it and I’m afraid to let you down
It’s all or nothing, I fear that something’s wrong

How I wish you knew, how much I need you
I feel like running but I can’t abandon you
You avoid my gaze, withdraw from me these days
You punish me for trying to be all that you wanted
What more can I do?

I’m tired of walking on eggshells, so terrified to fail
And in order to please you I’ve abandoned myself
And though it used to hurt me when you pushed me away
I’m stronger than ever, you made me this way.

The song is by Christina Aguilera off her Bionic album. I think the song is about abuse. “You hurt me and you don’t see it. Again I am the child”, as in parenting – the parent made her who she is by all that they put her through, they don’t realize how much hurt they are causing. “I feel like running but I can’t abandon you”. It hurts but you cant run away from home, it’s out of your control.. “You punish me for trying to be all that you wanted” she is trying to be happy and make the parent/person happy but nothing pleases them. She’s tried being who they wanted her to be but she feels like no matter what she still gets punished for being human.  “I fear that something’s wrong” it’s about confusion, wondering what she is doing wrong to be treated this way.  She has finally found the strength within so step outside the box she’s been placed in and be on her own. She’s stronger than ever with all that the person put through, after having to be someone she wasn’t, she is seeing that the person she has become is strong and still stands tall and no longer will take the abuse.

I connect to this song in so many ways, when I first heard it and read the words it made me think about my mother and how our “relationship” is. The words in particular that made me cry and related to it about my mother is: “How I wish you knew, how much I need you. I feel like running but I can’t abandon you. You avoid my gaze, withdraw from me these days. You punish me for trying to be all that you wanted. What more can I do?”

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