I was browsing for new books to purchase and I came across “Sh*t My Dad Says” by Justin Halpern and I literally couldn’t stop laughing by just reading a few pages. The author moved in with his parents at 29 years old and one day he decided to write things his dad would say on his away status, all his friends loved it so he did them daily then he made a page on Twitter titled ‘Shit My Dad Say’s. It created a huge buzz, he gained a million followers and a book deal and a TV show came along. His book was on New York Times best seller and the show which will be airing on CBS is expected to a be hit.
I want to meet his dad! He’s so funny and brutally honest..I feel like I need him in my life! So seriously guys read some of the shit his dad says on his twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/shitmydadsays or buy the book!!
Here are just someeee of my favorites:
“How the fuck should I know if it’s still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn’t good. You people, you think I got microscopic fucking eyes.”
“The worst thing you can be is a liar….Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2”
“That woman was sexy…Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won’t screw you, don’t do it for them.”
“The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain’t like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain’t spitting it out.”
“I hate paying bills… Son, don’t say “me too.” I didn’t say that looking to relate to you. I said it instead of “go away.”
“Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn’t invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that.”
“I lost 20 pounds…How? I drank bear piss and took up fencing. How the fuck you think, son? I exercised.”
“I didn’t say you were ugly. I said your girlfriend is better looking than you, and standing next to her, you look ugly.”
“Stop trying so hard. He doesn’t like you. Jesus, don’t kiss an ass if it’s in the process of shitting on you.”
“You seen my cell phone?…What’s it look like? Like two horses fucking. It’s a phone, son. It looks like a phone.”
“See, you think I give a shit. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I’m thinking; How can I give less of shit? That’s why I look interested.”
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