This week I chose a song from ‘Skillet’ titled Open Wounds.
The song hits deep. I can relate to every word. In my opinion it’s about someone who is fed up with being emotionally abused and realizing all their insecurities are coming from that person that hurts them. I also think that person is a parent.
“In the dark with the music on. Wishing I was somewhere else. Taking all your anger out on me, somebody help, I would rather rot alone than spend a minute with you.”
I think a lot of us can relate to that. Our way of tuning out from our world is putting on our music and wishing we were anywhere else other than being home. Our parents also tend to take their anger out on us not realizing how damaging it is to us.
“How could you, how could you, how could you hate me? When all I ever wanted to be was you? How could you, how could you, how could you love me? When all you ever gave me were open wounds?”
Growing up your parents are the people you look up too. So when they are doing or saying things that hurt us we are left confused. How can they say or do these things to us to hurt our feelings? They are supposed to love and support us. So with all the hurt you feel it’s hard to feel loved by them.
“Doesn’t matter what I do, nothing’s gonna change. I’m never good enough and you can’t stop me from falling apart, ’cause my self-destruction is all your fault.”
That gave me chills.It’s exactly how I feel every day of my life. I don’t have a relationship with my father, my mother and I just have a ‘mother and daughter’ relationship. It’s complicated. I’m always being put down about my weight, my hair, my skin, my attitude and so on, it’s always negativity being thrown at me. I never feel good enough, because I’m not thin enough, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not smart enough and it’s hard to not think that you’ll ever be good enough to anyone and it tears you apart but it’s expected of you to put on a brave because nothing is supposed to bother you. You keep everything bottled inside, you’re self-destructing and you can never tell your reasons why.