Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher from North Carolina have been married for 86 years and hold the Guinness World Record for the longest marriage of a living couple! Zelmyra is 101 years old and Herbert is 104!. My parents had a tumultuous marriage and they finally divorced when I was nine years old. So the topic of marriage is a tough one for me, I have never saw an example of how love and commitment is supposed to be, I only saw the bad and the ugly. Do I believe in marriage? Yes. But, do I believe in happy endings? No. Anyway, I am working on a blog about marriage but for now here is some advice from Mr. and Mrs. Fisher that they answered through Twitter.
1. What made you realize that you could spend the rest of your lives together? Were you scared at all?
With each day that passed, our relationship was more solid and secure. Divorce was NEVER an option – or even a thought.
2. How did you know your spouse was the right one for you?
We grew up together and were best friends before we married. A friend is for life – our marriage has lasted a lifetime.
3. Is there anything you would do differently after more than 80 years of marriage?
We wouldn’t change a thing. There’s no secret to our marriage, we just did what was needed for each other and our family.
4. What is your advice to someone who is trying to keep the faith that Mr. Right is really out there?
Zelmyra: Mine was just around the corner! He is never too far away, so keep the faith – when you meet him, you’ll know.
5. What was the best peice of marriage advice you ever recieved?
Respect, support and communicate with each other. Be faithful, honest and true. Love each other with ALL of your heart.
6. What are the most important attributes of a good spouse?
Zelmyra: A hard worker and good provider. The 1920’s were hard, but Herbert wanted and provided the best for us. I married a good man!
7. What is your best Valentine’s Day memory?
Zelmyra: I cook dinner every day. Herbert left work early and surprised me – he cooked dinner for me! He is a very good cook!
Herbert: I said that I was going to cook dinner for her and she would relax – the look on her face and clean plate made my day!
8. You got married very young – how did you both manage to grow as individuals yet not grow apart as a couple?
“Everyone who plants a seed and harvests the crop celebrates together”. We are individuals, but accomplish more together.
9. What is your fondest memory of your 86 year marriage?
Our legacy: 5 children, 10 grandchildren, 9 great-grandchildren and 1 great-great grandchild.
10. Does communicating get easier with time? How do you keep your patience?
The children are grown, so we talk more now. We can enjoy our time on the porch or our rocking chairs – together.
11. How did you cope when you had to be physically seperated for long periods of time?
Herbert: We were apart for 2 months when Z was hospitaled with our 5th child. It was the most diffuclt time of my life. Z’s mother helped me with the house and the other children, otherwise I would have lost my mind.
12. At the end of bad relationship day, what is the most important thing to remind yourselves?
Remember marriage is not a contest – never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win.
13. Is fighting important?
NEVER physically! Agree that it’s okay to disagree and fight for what really matters. Learn to bend – not break!
14. What’s the one thing you have in common that transcends everything else?
We were both Christians and believe in God. Marriage is a commitment to the Lord. We pray with and for each other every day.
– I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that two people can be together for this damn long! But what a beautiful love story they share!